Hanstoo and Gretit: A pitcest Hansel and Gretel story
by xBooxBooxBear
Summary: Pit wakes up in another fairy tale dream. This time accompanied by Dark Pit whose aware they're in a dream and have taken the roles of Hansel and Gretel but with a slight twist! Semi-sequel to Pit in Wonderland!
1. Chapter 1

Pit let out an oof as he was suddenly fell to the ground. "Ow! What the heck?"

He scratched his head and looked up from the floor. He noticed that he was no longer in the kitchen. Instead, he was on the floor of what looked to be an old fashion room in a poor-looking cottage. He got up on his feet and glanced around the area. There was nothing that stood out except an old bed made out of hay and the staircases that led downstairs.

"Where am I?" Pit wondered out loud. He glanced down at his new attire and gasped. He was wearing a pink peasant dress with a fitted bodice, poofy white sleeves, black vest, full skirt and apron. He had lacy white socks that passed his ankles and mary-janes. "Huh? Another dress?" Pit sighed irritated. "Why do I always wake up in dresses?" He noticed a weight off his back. He looked over his shoulder and found his wings were gone. "Hey! Where are my wings?"

He heard the sound of footsteps on the staircases. He tilted his head to the side, wondering who he was going to be greeted with this time.

"Hello?" He called out.

"Pit?" a low voice answered.

"Pittoo?" Pit gasped.

The angel in question appeared at the top of the stairs. Like Pit, his attire had changed as well, however, he wasn't wearing a dress. He was wearing a white shirt, black lederhosen, white socks that went to his knees and black shoes. He looked just as confused as Pit.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He asked, blushing at the sight.

"Um, a dress, I guess?" Pit shrugged and held up the ends of the dress and glanced down. His eyes flashed up to Pittoo's attire. "What are you wearing? Why aren't you wearing a dress?"

"I don't know and I don't really care. I wouldn't be caught dead in that thing." He approached the other boy and looked around the empty room. "Where are we? And what happened to our wings?"

"I don't know. One minute I was in the kitchen and the next I wake up on the bed and in this dress." He motioned to his attire. "And without my wings!"

Dark Pit's eyes absorbed the boy's frame in the dress. He bit his lip and looked up to find appalled blue eyes boring back.

"Oh no! You're not doing that again!"

"What?"

"I've seen you give me that look before! The last time I was in a dress, you gave me that look and then forced me to have sex with you!" Pit pointed accusingly.

Dark Pit's whole face exploded with red. He looked at Pit absolutely mortified at what he'd been accused of. "I, what!?"

"Yeah! You kept calling me Alice and then you tied me up and had sex with me!"

"Pit, what the hell are you talking about? I've never fucked you!"

"But you did! You-" Pit gasped. His eyes widened. "Wait! That was a dream!"

Dark Pit groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't tell me that was when you were making all that noise and I came into your room to find you having a wet dream!"

Pit bit his lip and blushed. His blue eyes glanced away in embarrassment.

"Wait a minute." Dark Pit smirked. "Your wet dream was about me?"

"Uh-"

"Heh, wow." Dark Pit chuckled, playing off the feeling of his heart squeezing in his chest and the lust that sparked at the unofficial confession.

"It's not like I asked for it!" Pit pouted.

Again, Dark Pit chuckled. He glanced around the room. "So then we must be in another one of your dreams. That explains our missing wings." He glanced down at Pit. "Alright, well get us out of here."

"Huh?"

"You heard me. Get us out of this dream."

"I don't know how!" Pit insisted.

"How did you get out last time?"

"Well after you tricked me into having sex with you." He threw another accusing look towards Dark Pit, like it was his fault. "You told me to wake-up and I did."

"Okay, so wake up."

"I don't know how!"

A mischievous grin played on Dark Pit's lips. "I do." He said then slugged Pit in the arm.

"Ow!" Pit yelped. He rubbed his aching arm and looked angrily at his doppelgänger. "That hurt!"

Dark Pit raised a brow. "Wait, it did?"

Pit nodded. "Yeah."

Dark Pit peered around the room again. "I don't think we're in a dream if that hurt."

Pit joined him in the scan. "Oh yeah, it's not supposed to hurt if you're in a dream but in my last one I felt pain too. Especially when we, uh, did it." He blushed.

Dark Pit blushed too and looked away. It wasn't even really him but he was still embarrassed about it. "Well, I guess we'll have to see this dream through to get out." He turned to Pit. "What was your last dream about?"

"Well, I was swimming in a pool of ice cream-"

"-No, you idiot! I meant the dream similar to this one!"

"Oh! Well, I was in a blue dress with an apron and I was following Lady Palutena around. For some reason she was a white rabbit and she was saying she was late for something. I followed her but got lost and then I ran into you and you were wearing stripped pajamas and looked like a cat."

"Alice in Wonderland." Dark Pit nodded.

"Hey yeah! That's what everyone called me! No matter how many times I told you guys my name, you still called me Alice!"

"I think I'm starting to understand what's going on."

"What?" Pit tilted his head as his blue eyes bore into red.

"We're in a fairytale of some kind. In your previous dream, your character was Alice, so everyone called you that. We're playing the roles of characters in fairytales, at least that's what it seems."

"Then who am I supposed to be now? And who're you supposed to be?" Asked Pit curiously.

Dark Pit shrugged. "I don't know yet but I'm guessing you're a girl character again." He smirked at Pit's glare. "We'll find out soon enough, come on."

Dark Pit turned for the stairs with Pit following behind. They were in the middle of the stairs when they both saw Viridi and Arlon sitting at a table in front of them. Just like them, they were wearing peasant clothing. Their faces held worry and sadness. They were also pale and fairly skinny. Pit passed Dark Pit on the stairs to get to them but stopped when he caught Viridi's sharp glare.

"Well, look who it is! Little piggy Gretel! Come to eat more of our food?" Viridi snapped at Pit.

"Huh?" Pit looked at her confused. "I haven't eaten anything here! I was eating before I came into this dream but I haven't eaten anything since!"

"Ah, Hansel and Gretel." Dark Pit folded his arms and nodded.

This caught the attention of Viridi. She glowered at Dark Pit then pointed at him. "What's _he_ doing here? Have you been sneaking him food too?"

"What do you mean what am I doing here? I'm supposedly Pit's brother in this fairytale."

Viridi and Arlon exchanged looks. "Brother? You're sick and twisted if you consider yourself Gretel's brother!"

Dark Pit looked at them confused. "This is Hansel and Gretel, right? They're brother and sister in the book."

"Hansel, are you feeling alright?" Arlon stood up and looked at Dark Pit.

"He's insane! He thinks he's Gretel's brother?" Viridi snarled at Arlon. "And what's he talking about a book?

Pittoo and Pit looked at each other, confused.

"My dear boy," Arlon began, "I think you hit your head on something but Gretel isn't your sister. You two are courting."

"Courting? What does that mean?" Pit asked Pittoo. He noticed his counterpart's eyes were huge and his cheeks were flared red.

"It means we're dating." He answered, tone dead.

"We're dating?!" shrieked Pit, his cheeks flared too.

"Last time I checked." Viridi folded her arms. "It doesn't matter anyways!" The little goddess stood up from the table and walked over to Pit. She grabbed his shoulders and started shaking him. "Where's our food, you fat pig!?"

"What food?" Pit asked

"The food that was in the kitchen! The land is in a famine and you and your fat boyfriend are eating everything up! We're all going to starve!"

"Darling, please don't shake her. I don't think she ate all of it." Arlon defended Pit.

Viridi turned sour and glared at Arlon. "You're always defending her! You never take my side!"

"Sweetheart, I do!"

"Oh no you don't!"

Breadcrumbs flew off Pit's dress and onto the floor. Arlon, Viridi and Pit all looked to the floor. Silence filled the air as Viridi began to boil with rage. She gripped Pit's arm tightly, causing a bruise and yanked him forth onto the floor, in front of Arlon.

"You see!? She ate the last of the bread!" Viridi screamed. She turned to Dark Pit, not noticing that his face was still red and in shock. She yanked him down by his suspenders, finding crumbs on his clothes too and pulling him out of his daze. "He did too!"

"Oh, Gretel." Was Arlon's only response.

"That's it!" Viridi yanked Pit up off the floor. "Get out!"

She hurled them outside, where they landed on the sharp rocks in front of the house. The rocks scraped across their skin, causing little cuts to open up.

"Don't even think about coming back here unless you find food!" Viridi screamed then slammed the door, locking it behind.

Pit and Dark Pit watched in awe at what happened. They both got to their feet and brushed off the dirt from their clothes.

"What the heck was that about?" Pit asked, brushing off his dress. "Why did Viridi get so mad?"

"Because she's the step-mom in this scenario." Dark Pit answered, "In the book, the step-mom is a bitch. Viridi was the perfect role for that."

"That's not very nice, Pittoo."

Dark Pit shrugged, nonchalantly. "I don't care."

Pit glanced back at the house, seeing Arlon and Viridi fighting through the window. "So, does that mean Arlon's role is the dad?"

Dark Pit nodded. "He's a woodcutter." He glanced back at the window and saw Viridi glowering spitefully at the two of them. "C'mon, let's go." He turned and walked away from the house.

Pit continued to stare for a few more moments then followed behind after Dark Pit. They walked silently down the road from the cottage until they hit another road that led towards the forest. Pit stole a few glances at Dark Pit, looking at how well his frame filled out his strange attire. His eyes fell to his legs and watched as they the muscles flexed when he walked. They scaled up to his ass and Pit couldn't help but notice how perfectly round it was in the lederhosen. Pit bit his lip then rubbed his aching arm. The action caught Dark Pit's attention. His red eyes fell to the other's arm and noticed the bruise forming.

"You okay?" Dark Pit asked.

"Huh? Oh," He rubbed his bruising arm again. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Here, let me see." Dark Pit stopped. He carefully held Pit's arm and examined the bruise. It was the size of Viridi's small hand. Already it was beginning to purple.

Pit watched as the other examined his injury. He watched those intense red eyes flicker back and forth, absorbing every inch of the wound.

"She sure has a tight grip." Dark Pit commented.

"Yeah." Pit rubbed the back of his head, nervously.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much. We'll be out of here soon and it will be gone."

Dark Pit released him and continued to walk back on the trail. Pit followed beside, looking down at the forest floor.

"So~" Pit began, casually looking at Dark Pit. "Viridi is my step-mom and Arlon is my dad in the story?"

"Well, in the story they'd be both Hansel and Gretel's step-mom and dad." He glanced up at the trees. "It's strange, in this story they're not siblings but, uh-" Dark Pit blushed and turned his face away.

Pit copied him and finished his sentence, "-dating."

"Yeah."

The two said nothing as the awkward silence enveloped them. Pit stole several glances towards the other. He didn't know what to think of this whole situation. Here, he was again in another strange dream with Pittoo. The only difference is he's aware he's in a story and not portraying a character in it. He didn't mind that at all. He much preferred his doppelgänger knowing his state than being a character. The last time really freaked him out.

"Hey Pittoo?"

The darker Pit glanced sideways at him.

"Where're we going?"

Dark Pit looked ahead. "I don't know."

"Are we looking for food for Viridi?"

"No."

"But Viridi asked us to-"

"Pit, we're not gonna look for food for her. Especially after what she did to you." He snapped.

"Oh, well then where-"

"I'm looking for a way out of here. I don't know what you're doing."

"I'm following you. I don't know where to go." He looked at him innocently.

Dark Pit scoffed. "Probably for the best. You'd get lost or run into the witch."

Pit gasped and looked at him. "A witch?!"

Dark Pit rolled his eyes in irritation. "Yes! How do you not know this story? Everyone has read this story!"

Pit looked down at the ground. He felt his face flare with humiliation and embarrassment. "I can't read."

Dark Pit's eyes widened when he heard the sad tone in Pit's voice. He mentally smacked himself in the head for forgetting. "Oh yeah" He looked away and scratched his head.

Again awkward silence filled the air around them. Dark Pit felt slightly bad for what he said to the other. He knew Pit was embarrassed about his illiteracy. He wanted to apologize but he couldn't form the words in his lips; so he said didn't.

"So, uh, I guess the goddess didn't read it to you either?" Dark Pit rubbed the back of his head.

Pit shook his head. "No."

"Oh, well, uh, yeah, there's a witch. She's a blind old hag that tries to eat the kids in the book."

Pit gasped and looked at him frightened. "She's gonna try and eat us?!"

"We're not going to run into any witch, Pit."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm going to make sure we don't. The last thing I need is to run into a witch that wants to eat us."

"Yeah, I don't want to be eaten again." Pit laughed sheepishly, referring to when he was eaten by Hades.

Dark Pit laughed humorlessly. "And I don't need to save your ass again."

Pit frowned. "You don't always save my butt. I've saved yours too."

Dark Pit scoffed. "Yeah. Hardly."

Pit glowered over at him. "Who saved you from the Chaos Kin? Who-"

"-Alright! Stop!" Dark Pit snapped. "I get it."

Pit smiled triumphantly.

Dark Pit rolled his eyes.

Pit giggled and nudged Pittoo.

Again, Dark Pit rolled his eyes, this time with a small smile playing on his lips.

Pit laughed again and stretched up towards the sky. He sighed and closed his eyes, enjoying the sweet breeze. Pittoo glanced at Pit and couldn't help but smile when he looked at the other. He was stupidly adorable, he hated to admit. And he was particularly appealing in that tight dress. His eyes fell onto the form in it. He bit his lip and admired with lustful eyes.

Pit opened his eyes and glanced over him. His smile big and bright, brighter than the sun in the sky. His blue eyes sparkled in the light as he held Dark Pit's.

The darker boy felt his cheeks flush again. He quickly turned away, hiding his blushing face. Pit giggled and looked straight ahead.

The two continued to walk down the path, not really knowing where they were going. The first few minutes were quiet except for the sounds of the forest; the wind brushing through the trees, whispering secrets to them. Birds singing their tunes while squirrels leapt off branches at the perfect hitch of the song. The sounds themselves were pleasant and relaxing but little did they know, they were actually distractions. While the Pits were enjoying the sounds, the forest was moving. It changed around them, switching their course into the direction it wanted them to go rather than the direction they were heading. It wasn't until Dark Pit realized that something was off. He halted in his steps, swinging his arm in front of Pit to stop him. Pit blinked at him confused and watched as Dark Pit's suspicious eyes scanned the forest around them.

"Pittoo? What is it?" asked Pit.

"Something doesn't feel right." Dark Pit muttered. His eyes continued to take in their surroundings. "Something has changed."

"What do you mean?"

Dark Pit was silent for a few moments before he responded. "I don't know what it is but something in this forest has changed."

"Hey Pittoo!" Pit pointed forward. "There's a house! Someone in there might be able to help us!"

Dark Pit followed Pit's finger and saw a cottage just up ahead. It seemed to be just an ordinary cottage but Dark Pit didn't trust it. "A cottage in the middle of the forest? That can only mean one thing."

"CANDY!" Pit screamed in Pittoo's ear, shoved him out of the way to get to the cottage.

Dark Pit spun around, tripped over his own feet then tumbled to the ground, landing on a rock. He glowered in Pit's direction and stood up. He brushed off the dirt from his hands and lederhosen then noticed blood on his knees. He growled and marched after Pit. Pit didn't even notice the other boy. He was too busy munching down on the house. Dark Pit thought he had lost his mind at first but then he saw that the cottage was indeed made up of sugared delights. The house itself was gingerbread with white frosting holding it together. White chocolate pretzels were the windows and chocolate bars as the blinds with M&M's framing them. There were gumdrops on the roof acting as shingles.

"The witch's cottage." The darker Pit mumbled to himself. "Pit! Stop eating that house! It's the witch's home!"

Pit looked over his shoulder, mouth and cheeks coated in frosting. His cheeks full with the eaten house. "Buh ith mave vup of randy!"

Dark Pit pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know! That's how the witch lures you! Her house is made of candy to lure kids and then eat them!"

Pit swallowed the food in his mouth and looked at him innocently. "She made a house full of candy to trick kids into eating them so she can eat them?" He started laughing. "Pittoo, that's silly!"

"It's true, you idiot! It's in the book. Now stop eating it and let's go before the witch comes out and-"

The chocolate bar door opened. The two angels froze as it stretched opened.

"Hello?" A soft voice came from inside.

"Hello?" Pit answered back.

Dark Pit threw him a look.

"Oh! Are you two kids lost?" The voice inside asked.

Dark Pit narrowed his eyes at the hiding witch and marched up to Pit, grabbed his arm and yanked away. "No we're not, hag. Pit, let's go."

The witch appeared out from the house and looked at the two concerned. Both boys stopped when the witch revealed herself.

"Lady Palutena?" Pit gasped.

Palutena stood in the doorway, smiling sweetly as she looked at the two of them. She had on an old green dress with a tattered use-to-be apron. "You two look tired and hungry. Would you like to come in and rest? I'll put on some tea and make something to eat."

"Ooh! Yes, please!" Pit started making his way towards Palutena but was stopped by Pittoo. Pit looked over his shoulder and gave his doppelganger a questioning look. "Pittoo, what're you doing? Let me go."

"What're YOU doing? That's not the real Palutena. I honestly didn't think her role in this story would be the witch but either way it's not really her."

"Of course it is! C'mon- " He tried to pull Pittoo forward. "Lady Palutena said she'd make us something to eat."

"She's going to eat us, you idiot!"

Pit narrowed his eyes. "No she isn't and stop calling me that! I'm not an idiot! I know what I'm doing." He shoved Pittoo off and walked towards Palutena. He flashed her a big smile then walked inside.

Palutena smiled as she watched him walk in. She glanced over at Dark Pit. "Come on in, deary."

Pittoo narrowed his eyes and folded his arms. "No. I know what you're up to, hag."

"Now deary, that wasn't very nice. It's unfortunate you won't be joining us for lunch." She reached for the door. Her face hid in shadows of the house. Her green eyes flashed blue and her hair became black. She laughed lowly. "We'll be having your girlfriend." She slammed the door shut.

"Medusa." He rolled his eyes. "That idiot is in for it." He walked up to the window. "I think I'll wait until he's really in trouble before I save his ass." He laughed.

Inside the cottage, Pit was sitting comfortably in a rocking chair. He smiled and peered around his surroundings, enjoying the grandma-like cottage. Palutena walked back into the room and handed Pit a cup of tea.

"You poor dear, you must be absolutely exhausted. You've been traveling so long with all that extra baggage." Palutena stoked the fire.

Pit took a sip of the tea. "Baggage? We didn't bring any baggage?"

"Your little boyfriend. He drags you down, I bet."

"Boy-boyfriend?" Pit spit out of his tea.

"Why yes, deary. I've heard the rumors about you two."

"Y-you have?"

Palutena nodded. "You're the sweet innocent one who always does what your father and step-mother asks, despite how mean she is. Your boyfriend lives next door and causes problems for your town. He's the town troublemaker and somehow has stolen your heart."

Pit blinked at her. His eyes wide and a large blanket of blush over his cheeks. "Tha-that's what they say, Lady Palutena?"

She nodded. "That's just what I heard and also that you two eat so much you're the cause of the fathom in the land."

"Well, uh, I do like to eat…a lot."

"That's perfectly okay." Palutena walked towards Pit and smiled sweetly at him. "Now how about some lunch?"

Pit beamed. "Yes please, Lady Palutena! What're we having?"

Palutena started laughing menacingly. "You!

"Huh?" Pit gasped then screeched when Palutena's skin shed off and revealed herself as Medusa. Only, it wasn't the Medusa he'd known in the uprising. This Medusa was old, fat, warty and hunchy. She was exactly what he thought a witch would look like. Pit screamed and jumped up from his chair. "Medusa, you're the witch!"

The witch laughed. "That's right! Looks like I'm going to be having a delicious girl for dinner!"

Medusa charged after Pit. He yelped but dodged out of the way. Medusa snarled and chased after him around the room. She grabbed his ankle and pulled him down to the ground. He let out an "oof" then tried to worm his way back up. He fought against the witch as she tried to force him to drink the tea she made.

"Drink this, deary. It'll relax you!" She insisted and tried shoving the drink in his mouth. "Drink it!"

"No!" Pit fought. He kicked her off and scrambled up. He ran towards the door and tried to open it but it wouldn't budge. He pounded on the door. "Pittoo! Pittoo! Help me!"

"Oh, now you want my help?" Dark Pit sneered on the other side.

Pit glanced back and saw the witch slowly getting up. He gasped and pounded on the door again. "Pittoo, please! She's trying to get me to drink tea and eat me!"

"I told you, Pit."

"Pittoo! Now isn't the time!" Pit squealed. He whirled around and saw Medusa charging after him. He moved out of the way just in time. She slammed into the door and fell to the floor. Pit ran to the nearest window and tried to open it but again it wouldn't open. "This is candy! Why won't anything open?!"

"It's not candy on the inside." The witch snarled. "And there's a spell to prevent my dinner from escaping!"

Pit frantically pounded against the window. He saw Pittoo on the other side and tried to open the window despite the witch's words.

"Pittoo! I can't open anything!"

Pittoo rolled his eyes. On the other side he attempted to open the window, to scold about how he was doing it wrong but when he attempted to open it, it wouldn't budge. Dark Pit realized the seriousness of the situation. He struggled almost desperately to open the window and help his doppelgänger.

"Pit!" He called out. "Behind you!"

Pit whirled around and saw Medusa coming for him. He gasped and tried to run but the witch grabbed hold of him. Pit fought against Medusa, trying desperately not to open his mouth. The witch played dirty and held his nose to prevent him for breathing through it. She laughed while Pit fought to get away and not open his mouth.

"Hold on, Pit! Don't-"

But it was too late. Pit couldn't hold his breath anymore and gasped out for air. Medusa wasted no time shoving the tea into his mouth. Pit tried to spit it out but Medusa covered his mouth and forced him to drink it.

"Pit!" Dark Pit cried out and tried to punch through the glass but it didn't break. Instead, his fist throbbed with pain.

Pit suddenly felt his energy and strength drain. He slumped against Medusa, whom laughed and clung to her victim. Pit felt his eyelids growing heavy. He slowly glanced at the window and saw Pittoo trying to get to him.

"Pit…too." Was all he managed to get out before he fell unconscious in the witch's arms.

"Pit!" Dark Pit tried to pry a way in to get to Pit.

Medusa laughed as she scooped Pit up in her arms and walked towards the kitchen.

"Hey! Bring him back!" Dark Pit snapped.

Medusa stopped and slowly turned around to smile at the darker boy. She waved her hand and the door creaked opened. Dark Pit cautiously walked in front of the door and stared into the house. The inside was darkened except for the light above Medusa. She grinned viciously at him.

"You want your little girlfriend? Well then, come and get her." Medusa's voice was low and slick. She smirked at him.

Dark Pit glowered at her. He knew as soon as he entered, the witch would trap him inside. What was he supposed to do? Let Medusa eat Pit? No, he couldn't. He'd go in but he'd trick the witch and save Pit, like he always did.

He clutched his fists and slowly but cautiously stepped inside. Immediately, the door behind him shut but the boy didn't so much as flinch. He expected this. He kept a keen eye on the witch as he proceeded closer towards her. At any moment she could conjure up a spell. However, he'd been expecting her to zap some spells at him. What he didn't expect was that as soon as he walked inside the house, he fell under a spell of sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Pit woke up with a pulsing headache. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes. He found he was lying on the kitchen floor. He slowly got up and looked around the kitchen. It was very old fashion with one of those huge built in stoves where you could fit a whole person into it. The image made Pit shiver as he remembered what Pittoo had said earlier. He gasped and scanned the room for the witch or for his doppelgänger.

"Pittoo?" Pit asked out loud, he walked around but stopped when he saw a chain wrapped around his ankle. "Huh?" He bent down and tugged on the chain.

"It's not going to come off if you tug on it." He heard Dark Pit's voice.

Pit whirled around and saw Dark Pit on the other side of the room, in a cage in the wall. He gasped and ran up to the cage that held the dark angel. He noticed that Pittoo was a little beaten up. He had a tear in his shirt, his untamable hair was even worse than usual, he had a bruise on his cheek and his lip was split. He had a few scrapes and cuts on his arms and his knees had scabs. He looked like he'd been in a fight.

"Pittoo! What're you doing in there?" Pit asked. "What happened to you?"

"The old hag put me in here after I tried to save your hide." Dark Pit scoffed. "I tried to fight her but she cheated."

"How did, wait-you came after me?"

Pittoo rolled his eyes. "Duh, if this is your dream I can't let you die. I might get stuck in here."

Pit looked a little hurt at the words. "Oh"

Dark Pit looked at him, seeing the hurt plastered on that face made him feel a tinge bit guilty. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. "I guess, it's not the only reason why I came after you." His cheeks blazed red and he was grateful that he was facing away from the other boy.

Pit glanced back at Pittoo and smiled softly. "What's the other reason?"

Dark Pit didn't answer. He just grumbled. Pit still couldn't refrain from smiling but now wasn't the time for that. They were both in trouble.

"Pittoo, what're we going to do? Why're you in the cage?"

"I'm in here because Medusa is going to try and fatten me up so she can eat me."

"That's right."

Pit gasped. Both he and Pittoo turned and saw the witch enter the kitchen. She smiled at Pit then at Pittoo and laughed. She walked up towards Pit and brought a sharp nail to his face and traced his jawline. Pit flinched.

"Now now, deary, I know it must be scary to see your boyfriend locked up in a cage but he will only be in there for a few days."

"Really?" Pit asked, hopeful.

Medusa nodded. "Now, go fetch some water and cook something good for your boyfriend so he is made to be fat. When he is fat, I will eat him."

Pit gasped. "You can't eat him!"

"And you can't cook." Dark Pit commented.

Pit threw him a look. "I happen to be an amazing chief, thank you very much!"

Dark Pit laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Then quick your blabbering and get cooking!" Medusa threw him to the ground. "The well is in the back."

Pit glanced between himself and the door that led out to the backyard then back at the chain on his ankle. "How am I supposed to get out there with this chain?"

"It's enchanted. It will let you walk anywhere on the property. Of course with the exception of my room. I don't need to worry about you trying to murder me in my sleep." She gave an ugly sneer. "Now get going. I want to eat a fat boy at the end of the week."

Medusa left the room.

Pit got up off the ground and turned to Pittoo. "What do we do now, Pittoo? I can't let her eat you! Also, I don't think you'd taste very good."

"I happen to taste very good." He smirked, lustfully. "Just not by what you mean."

Pit looked at him confused for a moment but when he saw that look, he thought back to the dream before where Pittoo had given him head and realized that was what he meant, he flushed furiously. "That's not what I meant!"

Dark Pit laughed.

"Pittoo, this is serious! I don't want her to eat you or me."

"Well, you don't have to worry about her eating you yet. You're going to be her slave first. She'll make you clean and cook. Your job is to fatten me up but I won't eat anything-oh, shit." Dark Pit face palmed.

"What is it?"

"In the book, the witch was blind and Hansel tricked her by letting her feel his finger but he gave her a bone and she felt he wasn't getting fat so she decided to cook Gretel instead. However, here, Medusa can see. How're we going to do this if she can see?"

Dark Pit pondered around this idea. Pit watched him focus and think. He watched as his red eyes were lost in thought, searching his brain for answers. The expression made Pit's stomach fill with butterflies. He gasped and looked at Pittoo. An idea popped in his head.

"What if I eat the food?"

"What?"

"Yeah, what if I make the food but you don't eat it and I do instead. She'll notice me getting fatter and she'll decide to cook me instead! Wait, how did they beat the witch in the book?"

"Gretel tricks the witch into getting into the oven instead." Dark Pit folded his arms. "Only problem is you eat constantly and you never gain weight."

"Well, uh, I do work out a lot so maybe that's why?"

"Or you have a fucking high metabolism. Either way, it's the only plan we've got." He leaned back against the wall. "Just don't get too fat or the plan won't work."

Pit beamed and nodded. He walked towards the back door then stopped and smirked at Pittoo. "Look whose saving who now."

Dark Pit rolled his eyes.

Pit laughed and left the room.

Dark Pit watched him leave with a small smile on his lips.

* * *

It was difficult at first. Everything was old fashioned, which meant he actually had to chop wood to start a fire to cook a huge cauldron in the fireplace. He had to retrieve water from the well. Make fresh flour then knead dough for bread. It was hard but he did it.

Whenever Pit finished cooking and Medusa was around, he'd give Pittoo all the hard made food he made and the witch would give him some gruel. The gruel was gross and he thought the trade was unfair. He'd been slaving away all day to make a crazy order of delicious food yet, he had to eat gruel. However, he only complained as an act. He'd eat very little gruel while Pittoo ate a little bit of the food. Once Medusa seemed satisfied, she'd leave the room and that's where the two switched. Pittoo would pass the food through the space between the bars and hand them to Pit, who in return devoured everything.

This went on for a couple weeks. At the end of the first week, Medusa noticed that Pittoo hadn't gained any weight, so she decided to wait another week to fatten him up. However, it took four weeks and it seemed like the boy was actually losing weight while Pit was gaining it. She decided she was going to eat him instead and trick him into getting into the oven. Dark Pit overheard this while Pit was outside.

"She's going to cook you, tubby." Dark Pit said when Pit entered the kitchen with a pile of wood in his arms.

"I'm not tubby!" Pit frowned. It was true he wasn't as fat as the witch probably wanted but his cheeks were so chubby they could be pinched. "This is four weeks' worth of food in me without training!"

"Good excuse, chubby bunny."

"I'm doing this to get us out of here and you're making fun of me!" Pit pouted

Dark Pit couldn't help it but he looked absolutely adorable. Pouting with those chubby cheeks. Dark Pit almost wanted to smash his cheeks together and kiss that face…almost.

"Okay, you're right. Your moment to shine is going to happen soon. Make sure you trick her into the oven first before she does you. If you get in there she'll cook you and then we're both doomed. No pressure or anything, marshmallow."

Pit threw him a look which Dark Pit chuckled at. "Gee, thanks Pittoo."

Dark Pit smiled at him. "Don't worry, chubby wubby. I know you can do it." He blushed and turned away.

Pit caught the blushing and his own cheeks flared up and a small smile played on his lips.

Pittoo chuckled and leaned against the cage. He sighed and closed his eyes. Pit glanced over at him and saw just how tired and sick he looked. He frowned and peered into the cage.

"Pittoo? Are you okay? You don't look too well." asked Pit, worried.

Dark Pit scoffed. "I've been stuck in this stupid cage for four weeks and I'm malnourished."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I'm not getting the nutrients I need because I'm barely eating."

"Oh Pittoo! And here I am gobbling everything down while you're starving! Pittoo, you have to eat more than a couple of bites!"

Dark Pit slightly opened his eyes. "No, I need to look less appetizing to the witch. Your cute chubby self is more appealing than my skinny bone self."

"C-cute?" Pit blushed

"I didn't-! Uh, I mean-"

"-There you are, deary."

Both Pits turned to see Medusa enter the kitchen.

"How about we bake? I already heated the oven and kneaded the dough." She pushed Pit towards the oven. Pit looked back at Pittoo whom nodded.

Pit glanced back at the oven and saw the flames were already darting.

Medusa looked between the oven and Pit. Her eyes fell down to his figure again. She smiled at his newly chubby frame. Dark Pit narrowed his eyes spitefully at her. He did not enjoy the look the witch was giving the other. It made him feel weird. It made him feel…jealous.

"Creep in" she said, her voice low "and see if it is properly heated, so that we can put the bread in."

Pit bit his lip. He looked at the oven, already feeling the heat from it. He had to plan this perfectly. One wrong move and he could burn alive in the oven. He had to do this. He glanced over at Pittoo. His red eyes were fiercely on him. He had to do this for Pittoo. He had to save him. He'd been trapped inside that cage for 4 weeks and had barely eaten. He looked so weak and sick looking.

 _I'll save you Pittoo._

Pit looked back at Medusa and gave her the most innocent look he could muster. He put his hands behind his back and stuck his body forward, giving the innocent child appeal.

"I don't know how I am supposed to do it; How do I get in?" He asked, sweetly.

Medusa looked at him and smiled. "Silly goose." She said in a sweet almost mother-like tone. "The door is big enough; just look, I can get in myself."

Pit moved aside to let Medusa in front of the open oven. Pit glanced over at Pittoo and both boys shared a smirk. They waited as Medusa demonstrated entering the oven. Just as her head was almost in, Pit moved to push her in, however, his chain snagged and prevented him from moving. He gasped and looked down at his ankle and saw the chain had shortened.

"Pit!" Dark Pit whispered urgently.

"I'm trying!"

"Did you think that I would be foolish enough to fall for that?" Medusa laughed. She looked over her should and sneered at Pit. She laughed at his dumbfounded face. "I tightened your little chain so you couldn't pull that stunt, deary. Now, since your little boyfriend refuses to gain any weight and you seem to have gained it all; I'm going to eat you instead!"

She turned around and moved to attack Pit. However, he was already a step ahead of her. Despite that one ankle was chained, he could still use the other. He mustered up all the strength he could and slammed his foot into the witch. Medusa flew into the stove as Pit fell forward, spraining his chained ankle. The witch screamed bloody murder as the flames engulfed her. Her magic on Pit's ankle seemed to diminish slightly. He wasted no time getting back on his feet then slamming the oven door closed, blocking out her ear shattering screams.

He hissed at the pain in his ankle but limped towards Pittoo. He smiled triumphantly at his caged other.

"Good move." He complimented.

"I learned from experience." He winked

The screaming from the oven was finally silenced, indicating that the witch was dead. The chain around Pit's sprained ankle disappeared and the key to Pittoo's cage appeared on the floor. Pit knelt down and picked it up then walked towards the cage, wincing a little.

"You okay?"

Pit nodded. "Yeah, twisted my ankle."

"Heroes get hurt on the job." Dark Pit shrugged, nonchalantly.

Pit walked up to the cage. His cheeks started to turn pink. He smirked and said, "Especially when they save their damsel in distress."

Dark Pit looked at him, highly offended. "Excuse me?! .Distress?! I'm hardly a damsel! You're the girl character in this! If anything you're the damsel in distress!"

"But look whose saving who." He smirked.

"Ugh. You really want me to say it don't you?"

Pit smiled and nodded. "Mmmmmhmmmmmmmm."

Dark Pit groaned. "I won't say I'm a damsel in distress but…you did save me. You saved us both" He folded his arms and turned away, hiding his red embarrassed face. "Good job."

Pit giggled and inserted the key in the lock. He twisted it until it clicked the cage open. He smiled sweetly at Pittoo and offered his hand. Dark Pit looked back at the hand then back at that adorable face. He rolled his eyes but smiled then placed his hand in his.

* * *

Pit awoke with a jolt. His eyes snapped opened and he jumped right up. He glanced around his surroundings which only took a moment to process: he was in his room.

"It really was a dream!" He said. He blinked in confusion. "Wait, I thought I was in the kitchen before I had that dream. Maybe that was a dream too?"

"Ugh, you're so loud." He heard an irritated moan beside him.

Pit glanced beside him and noticed some of his sheets had fallen on the other side of the bed. He climbed over the other side then glanced down to find Pittoo tangled in sheets from his bed.

"Pittoo? What're you doing down there? What are you doing in my room?"

"Those stupid loud centurions of yours were fucking loud outside my room. I relocated in here and tried to push you off your bed and you ended up clinging onto me and pulled me into it. I guess I passed out at some point and somehow fell off the bed." He shrugged, cooly, like it was natural.

He untangled himself from the web of blankets then stood up. He yawned and stretched then glanced at Pit whom was ogling him.

"What are you staring at?"

"You're not malnourished anymore." Pit commented.

"And you're not a porker. It was a dream, Pit. None of it was real."

Pit glanced down at his bedspread. "Yeah, I guess so." His tone was sad.

Dark Pit rolled his eyes. He gripped Pit's chin, forcing those blue eyes up then leaned in and pressed their lips together for a quick kiss. He pulled away, his face as red as Pit's and took in his stunned face.

"Wh-what? Why?"

Dark Pit didn't answer. Instead he said, "I'm hungry. I haven't eaten in four weeks." He kept his cool despite the butterflies swarming in his stomach then made for the door.

Pit watched him go with a stunned expression, pink cheeks and butterflies flapping in his stomach.


End file.
